


You're More Than Flesh And Bone

by IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight (Menochange)



Series: Conversation in Silence [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bat Brothers, Batfamily Feels, Crushes, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Everyone Needs A Hug, Feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd-centric, M/M, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 08:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15602085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menochange/pseuds/IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight
Summary: When Jason comes home after a tiring night of patrol the last thing he wants or needs is a Dick (both literally and metaphorically) on his couch.but it's not like he has much of a choice.





	You're More Than Flesh And Bone

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is set before Do You Hear The Silence.  
> You don't need to read that one before hand.  
> This initially didn't start out as a Dick/Jason story, ( but i'm in the process of writing a body swap Au and that one is a Dick/Jay fic and a little of that just sorta slipped in

Jason Todd was having a really shitty day, night and general state of existence.

He was naïve to believe that things could only get better from here, apparently he had forgotten that the world hated him and he could never seem to catch a break. To be fair though, he had been run ragged over the past few days because some uppity asshole was trying to muscle in on his territory – It wasn’t even that the fucker was particularly smart, it was just that Jason had been called out half way though his original trash clean up because Arsenal needed back up and somehow this idiot had managed to worm himself into another gang during Red hood’s absence. Which left Jay in his current predicament where he had to sacrifice three days’ worth of sleep in order to sniff out the little weasel. With that job now done and all loose ends tied up and bloody, Jason had believed that he could finally relax, maybe eat some decent food before getting some well-deserved rest for at least eight hours (he wasn’t Replacement, he understood the value of and actually enjoyed sleep whenever he could get it)

But alas the world conspired against him and his dreams were instantly dashed as soon as he entered his safe house to find a Dick (in more than one way – especially since the asshole faked his own fucking death) resting on his couch. Jason drew his guns instantly pointing them both at the older boy who seemed unphased by the action – whether this was because he knew Jason wouldn’t shoot him, because he was an overtly trusting idiot or a combination of the two was anyone’s guess.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you Dick-face.” Jason glared at the other man who smiled softly at him.

“Hey Jay-bird. You’re home late, everything ok?” Jason felt his gut clench as he watched the look of concern that crossed Dick’s face, outraged that ~~his older brother~~ this unwanted annoyance had the gall to act like he cared about the outcome of Jay’s night.

“Look Dickhead, I don’t have the time or patience for _his_ bullshit. If his majesty wants something he can just fuck right off” After a moment Jason holstered his guns and walked into the fridge, idly wondering if he had anything still edible.

“I’m not here because of Bruce, Little Wing”

He scoffed in disbelief (Goldie barely wiped his own ass without permission from the bat) as he rummaged through the fridge, smelling each item as he sorted them into two piles, for either disposal or immediate use. Jason heard rustling noises as the other boy got off the couch and padded towards him – he felt an irrational surge of anger course through him at the noise mainly because he knew the other boy was allowing his movements to be heard solely for Jason’s own piece of mind.

“Is it so weird for me to want to hang out with my little brother?” Jason narrowed his eyes at the older boy, pausing for a moment to really take in the Dick's appearance – The acrobat honestly looked like shit (Usually he said such things about the other boy’s appearance not because it was true but because he liked being an asshole,). Dick face looked gaunt, dark bags under his eyes  contrasted against his unusually pale skin, his clothes hung a little loose which in and of itself should have been the first indicator that something was wrong, the golden boy always worse skin tight clothes because he was a damned exhibitionist. What the hell had happened to make Goldie stop looking after himself, usually his older brother was the god dammed posterchild for perfection.

“What the fuck did he do?” The words came out unbidden, his tone harsh as he felt his anger towards their shared father figure build – obviously Bruce did something, no one else fucked with Dick like this and got away unscathed.

Dicks smiled softly as he shook his head. “He didn’t do anything, I just wanted to come hangout. Seriously Jay.” He insisted when Jason opened his mouth to argue.

“Yeah, not buying it asswipe” Jason scoffed in disbelief.

“Jay, I really do just want to hang out, but look if… if you’re busy don’t worry about it. I should probably head home anyway” the acrobat made an aborted move towards him before he stopped

“you know what, this was stupid. I shouldn’t have just turned up like this. You look tired. I’m sorry for… for everything” letting out a small self-deprecating laugh, he turned to leave and Jason sighed loudly.

“For fuck sake Goldie, Sit the fuck down.

“I should really just go little wing, really I’m probably not good company at the moment and I…”

“Sit your over emotional ass the fuck down ‘wing” Jason ground out, with what little patience he had (which honestly wasn’t a lot).

The shorter boy hesitated for a moment before he complied.

Jason worked methodically, humming to himself quietly as he cooked them both a quick brunch. Dick who was usually a loud, overly animated, attention whore was silent leaning against the kitchen counter as he watched the younger boy work.

 

* * *

 

 

Their shared meal was an unusually quiet one, not uncomfortable just weird considering those involved.  Jason even found himself drifting slightly as he basked in the welcome (if slightly odd) silence.

 

* * *

 

 

It was hours later, after they had eaten (again because screw you he was fucking hungry), plates washed and they had both been seated on the couch working their way silently through whatever trash was on TV.  Jason finally turned to the older boy and looked at him questioningly, eyebrow raised trying to goad Dick to talk.

Jason sighed loudly for the hundredth time as the older boy blithely ignored all his hints – although hood suspected that Dick was actually less oblivious than he liked to project.

“OK. Look Goldie. Tell me what the fuck he did so I have a reason to pick a fight with him on patrol tonight. Keep in mind that if you don’t tell me I’m still gonna do it, I’m just not gonna have a reason but I suppose Bats being Bats is a good enough reason as any”

“Jay” Dick fondly reprimanded, turning to actually look at his younger brother.

“Dickhead. I’m serious. Look, all cards on the table, I fucking hate you right now. You are my least, ok _second_ least favourite person right now – with Bats and Joker always competing for the top spot – but even with all the bullshit you and Bruce put me…. and those fucking rugrats through, I …. I still have your back ok. So if Bats or anyone has done something to …” Jason trailed off, turning away from his brother. He took a deep breath and continued “If whatever happened was, _is_ bad enough for you to come here of all places, I… Look I’m not a complete bastard. So just fucking tell me so I can deal with it. You don’t need to do everything alone. You don’t need to grin and fucking bare it like you usually do Wing”

 Jason looked up to find tears in the older boy’s eyes, he exhaled harshly caught off guard – although he didn’t know why because he should have seen this coming given the asshole in question – as Grayson suddenly pulled him into a tight back breaking hug. They stayed like that for a few moments; Dick’s quiet gut wrenching sobs the only sound in the hushed silence that fell upon them.

Eventually Jason had to – somewhat forcefully – pull away as the prolonged contact became too much for him to handle. He scooted a little away from Dick, not wanted to set the other boy off again but needing some space between them to feel at least a little more in control of the situation.

“Sorry Jay, I know you don’t like… I’m sorry, I just keep fucking things up” Dick laughed softly as he turned away to stare determinedly at the ground and Jason felt his stomach clench at the sound, it wasn’t the bright, happy go lucky patented laugh that Dick Grayson was known for, instead it dark and ugly, full of quiet self-loathing and hatred.

“Dickhe… Dick. Stop” Jason sighed steeling himself as he moved slightly forward, raising his hands so that they cupped the older boy’s cheek, guiding his head up so that they were looking at each other once more.

“Jay” his name sounded strange as it left the other boy’s lips in a strangled whisper. He felt himself lean slightly forward against his will, bringing them close enough that he could feel the breath of the other hot against his own skin.

“Dick, I think…”

“I have to leave” Dick blurted out and Jason pulled away fast panicking slightly even though the acrobat had yet to move from his spot. The sat like that for a few moments, neither of them speaking, as the acrobat opened and closed his mouth dumbly.

“Shit, Jay I didn’t mean to ...”

“You _should_ leave.” Jason cut in, it wasn’t a request.

“No. Jay I… it’s just that I shouldn’t… because I… I’m going to… to leave Jay…. We shouldn’t…” he trailed off shrugging helplessly.

“We shouldn’t what? What the fuck would I even want to do with you anyway Dickface? Obviously the golden boy is too fucking good to associate with street trash like me. What would Daddy dearest say? Well _fuck_ you asshole. Get out. We wouldn’t want you sullied by my presence” Jason snapped hurt but unsurprised – he had never been good enough for the bats, he hadn’t been good enough when he was taken in by Bruce back when he was nothing more than a street rat jacking tires, he hadn’t been good enough to be robin (Dickhead the golden boy, had made that abundantly clear) and he sure as hell wasn’t good enough now; he wasn’t a bat, he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t fucking anything.

 If he was being honest, the only time Jason seemed to be good enough for anyone was when he was dead, when he couldn’t possibly fuck anything up anymore – and even that he had fucked up by coming back to life.

“No, Jay… that isn’t what I meant, Jay please… just listen to me.” The other boy pleaded but Jason was fucking done.

“Fuck off and Die Goldie.” Jason glared, practically throwing himself off the couch when Dick made no move to leave. “It’s so fucking typical of you self fucking righteous bat-pricks. You break into my own fucking safe house, ignoring the fact that you were not even fucking invited and now you refuse to leave when I fucking tell you to _GET THE FUCK OUT!_ You are an entitled fuckwit and if you won’t fucking leave then I fucking will even though as previously stated. It’s my own fucking house!” Jason yelled angrily grabbing his jacket and storming out the door. He nearly got three steps away from his apartment when a warm hand wrapped itself around his bicep and refused to let go.

“Dickhead. I swear to god, if you don’t let me go I’m going to shoot you in the fucking head – and trust me, this time we won’t be burying a fucking fake.” Jason growled darkly as he tried to pull his arm away.

Dick held on strong though staring determinedly at Jason.

“Jaybird. Stop. I’m sorry, I just keep messing up. Just stop so I can explain”

“Fuck. Off.” Jason wretched his arm whilst simultaneously pushing the older boy away in one fluid motion. He stomped down the corridor, glaring at his neighbour who had been peering out at them through her partly open door. The old lady glared back disapprovingly and haughtily shut her door as he passed.

“I’ve been thinking about leaving little wing.”

“Well that’s a fucking surprise, maybe you should do a little less thinking about it and just fucking do it. I mean I can tell you’re obviously fucking horrible at it considering you’re still fucking here.” Jason spat over his shoulder, making his way to the stairs. This was a mistake, he needed to get out of here.

 “Jaybird. I …”

“Well it’s not like I…” He paused and glared down spitefully at the other boy “it’s not like _we_ need you. Unless you forgot Dickie, Gotham, _we_ did fine without you when _you fucking lied to us and faked your own fucking death_. So just fuck off already” Jason sneered nastily, feeling vindicated as the Dick’s face fell obviously hurt.

“Gotham. I’ve been thinking about leaving Gotham” Dick chocked out, every bit of hurt he was feeling was displayed openly for all to see. Jason felt his gut clench in regret before he forcefully pushed it down. He would not feel sorry for this lying asshole.

Jason rolled his eyes, as the other boy trailed off, of course Dickhead was thinking about something Gotham related. Jason had probably been right when he first accused the asshole of coming on behalf of the, oh so fucking great Batman. He wasn’t going to stay here and get involved again in some bullshit bat drama. After everything that’s happened he was so fucking done with the bat.

“Given everything… I… I have to leave Gotham”

“Yeah well have a nice fucking trip, I’m not fucking interested.”

“Little wing.”

“I seriously will shoot you if you follow me. Dickwing. Now fuck off, I really don’t give two shits about where you go. Good fucking riddens.”

With that Jason practically jumped down the rest of the stairs and headed out the door. He wondered still fuming, whether he could crash with Roy for a few days, probably get some sleep too, if he could just avoid all the fucking bats.

Jason was sick and tired of the bats using him for their own agenda. He was fucking done with the lot of them – ok maybe not all of them; Duke was alright, Timbo actually wasn’t too bad, the girls were cool and whist the Bat-brat was still a fucking demon, he wasn’t completely horrible. So really it was just the big bad bat and Dickiebird who were an issue.

Honestly the golden boy can do whatever he fucking wanted. Jason gave two shits whether he was here, in Gotham or went back to Bludhaven, it was bound to happen eventually. Bats and Nightwing had been fighting since before Jason had even come into the picture the first time, it was no surprise to anyone that they were at it again.

Besides Jason knew how this was going to go down; Nightwing will leave and Jason would go underground for a bit. Something will happen and then happy fucking day Nightwing and Batman are BFFLs once again and Jason, he would run back to help because he is a pathetic piece of shit who can’t seem to stay away. Everything will go back to normal, Dickhead will try bullshitting and pretending they are all one happy little family instead of a fucked up group of people held together by stubbornness and an inability to stay fucking dead.

Soon everything would be back to normal.

And Jason can just forget all about this stupid ~~crush~~ shit his body does whenever Dick Grayson is around. It’s not a crush, it really isn’t … it’s just that sometimes Jason just really wants to push the older boy against a wall and ~~kiss~~ punch his stupid face, or beat up the assholes who even try to touch him or listen to Dick talk about anything and everything for hours on end – which is totally a thing the other boy can do given he is a loud mouthed attention whore (not that Jason minds, he would if it were anyone else, sometimes he wants to duct tape Roy’s mouth closed when the red head goes on his fucking rants but with Dick it was different. He was different.)

Sometimes he just watches the other boy. Sometimes it seems as though he's the only one who see's him, the real Richard Grayson, the boy who will do anything for the people he loves, even at his own expense. Sometimes he wished he could talk to him, without all the bullshit, just to let the golden boy know that he didn’t have to bare the weight of the world alone, that Jason could help – his own shoulders being much broader and heavily muscled in comparison to the acrobat. Sometimes he wanted to tell Dick that he didn’t owe Batman shit, he didn’t need to sell his soul because the old man said so. And sometimes Jason wanted to hit him, to yell, scream and rant about how he felt when Dick ‘died’, how he felt when he had to bury him, how he felt when he found out the other boy was still alive. Tell him about the relief, the anger, the betrayal and then finally the acceptance – not because he agreed but because he had always known that he didn’t actually matter to the great Dick Grayson. He had always known that Dick would never trust, ~~never love~~ him how Jason ~~loved,~~ trusted Dick.  

Today only cemented it.

 

So right now all he needs to do is go visit Roy, get some sleep and let this all blow the fuck over and pretend none of this ever happened the next time he saw Nightwing.

And then everything will be fucking peachy.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Except it wasn’t.

Jason hadn’t realised it at the time but nothing would ever be the same again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it.  
> Let me know what you think :)


End file.
